I couldn’t resist

Bingo. People treat phones like they’re disposable, and buying pallets of old functional phones is shockingly affordable

Not if you blow on it.

Right?
…Right?

I gotta argue with you on your last point. Any meat that’s delicious with just salt should only be seasoned with salt. Anything more and you interfere with the flavor.

When I drop something on the floor and then blow on it in short soft bursts, it’s suddenly clean enough to consume.

Why are you arguing with me? I just explained it. Tide goes in because tide goes out.

Fuck it! We’ll do it live!

Why do people keep telling me this?

Yes I can. Tide goes in because tide goes out.

Diz??? Johnny, she’s dying!

But if we get rid of OSHA, what’s Mike Rowe going to hold for laughter and applause for after he says “ocean?”

Fuck, the mirror-person has guns! Shoot 'em!

Damn, I had to do some actual research to get that one. Worth it. I chuckled quietly through my nose.

Everything is a test to see if they can push things further. Hocking a vocal ass-sniffing donor’s wares in an absurd and awkward showcase to troll the left while showing he was in on the joke was all part of a grift and a test.

If you can do something so seemingly incompetent and bizarre, then you’ve cleared an opening to inject something more malignant next time.

There’s a post?

“Pornography-related virus”

Full-on swooning because that outfit is dope!

and they don’t stop coming

I remember the 1900s

I can only count to four

I’m sorry I’m old, too