I’m an introvert and I like going to work to do my job and go home. I don’t understand people who use a job as a substitute for friendship or marriage. It’s a means to an end.
The sooner I do my duties, the longer my downtime is going to be, and I love having my downtime.
Many of my colleagues see me and immediately start asking questions I don’t want to answer, but neither do I want to hurt their feelings, I mostly want to be left alone. In the past this has been deconstructed as arrogance and people with fragile egos feel insulted by my indifference to them and that I prefer to work than to talk to them.
The world is made by extroverts. I have observed that people are eager to help you if you give them attention. I don’t get it, but neither I’m not going to change how extroverts think or feel.
If I give them the attention they need for as long as they need it I’m going to end up with daily headaches and neither my job nor theirs is going to be done.
I want to appear approachable, but keeping the info I feed them to a minimum. How do I do that?
What do you talk about to your coworkers?
What do you say to stop conversation organically? (meaning they don’t get offended).
Just say “Sorry, I have some urgent work to do. We’ll talk later”. People don’t care, no one will think you’re an asshole. You can say it right after ‘hello’ or after quick exchange. I mostly avoid talking to people at work. I have my ANC headphones, sit at my desk and do my job/browse lemmy most of the time. But when people need help with something I do it fast and without needless bureaucracy so a lot of people know me as a reliable guy. After all it’s work. Be polite, be professional, do your job and you’ll be fine. And if you meet someone who’s fun to talk to have lunch with them from time to time.
This is good advice. Headphones can also work on another level as a signal that you’re getting stuff done and don’t want to be disturbed. Not all my colleagues get that but perhaps 9/10 do.