I want to be able to say it not to be derogatory or insulting but because you added it to a piece of media that I really liked. So I’m saying it in that context.
I say this not to be preachy but to share a lesson I learned the “hard” way.
Your logic makes total sense - to you. It makes sense to me, too. But maybe it doesn’t make sense to everyone, so by relying on that logic you are only saying “hey, I’m not saying this to do intentional harm.” But that doesn’t change the unintentional harm you may do.
I look at it like this - Maybe the person who overhears me doesn’t know the context in which I’m using the word. Maybe they do, but have been hurt by it so many times in the past it’s hard for them to accept it coming from someone who looks like me, no matter the context. And maybe there’s an argument that it’s not my problem if they feel that way - but on the other hand, I don’t want any possibility of being one more brick in someone else’s wall just because it was my opinion that they shouldn’t be hurt by my usage of the word. I don’t want to hurt someone else with my language even if it’s unintentional.
And that’s awfully complicated to have to think about every time, so I just don’t use the word, which I really have no desire to utter in the first place, even if it is in the lyrics of a fair bit of what I like to listen to.
See my biggest argument about this whole thing is “stop using it then”
I specifically like Morgan Freeman’s take. I’m paraphrasing because I haven’t read the quote in a while but it basically boiled down to: Y’all keep using the n word and then act surprised it’s so prevalent. You keep perpetuating the very thing you say you hate by doing so. Stop giving that word so much weight and it will lose meaning.
Now with that said, would racism still exist? Would certain people still refer to black people as n words? (God that looks fuckin dumb) Absolutely. Would I have ever used the n word if it wasn’t all over black media? Not a fuckin chance.
I literally only found out the word was bad because I was singing along to a rap song and the black guy next to me lost his fuckin mind about it. And the whole time he’s berating me all I can think is “so you know it’s not a word you want people saying but you put it in almost every sentence you use.”
Idk man like I said it’s a touchy subject and I understand that. I just feel like the massive knee jerk reactions are what keeps it going in the negative context more than in the casual “I’m singing a fuckin song” context
I hear you but at the end of the day - there really is no way I’m going to feel comfortable having an opinion on when black folks should or shouldn’t use it. I could certainly understand taking it back as a catharsis, but I could imagine a lot of other reasons that might come up if I’d lived the experience of black folks. Either way I don’t think I can equate the idea of me using the word as within the same realm as a black person using it.
Again, this all comes from a place of understanding where you are coming from, but I’ve spent a long time trying to understand where black folks might be coming from on this too, and I’m just sharing how my viewpoint has evolved over time.
Idk man like I said it’s a touchy subject and I understand that.
It totally is, and I hope I’ve succeeded in being conversation-y and not asshole-y. :D
I say this not to be preachy but to share a lesson I learned the “hard” way.
Your logic makes total sense - to you. It makes sense to me, too. But maybe it doesn’t make sense to everyone, so by relying on that logic you are only saying “hey, I’m not saying this to do intentional harm.” But that doesn’t change the unintentional harm you may do.
I look at it like this - Maybe the person who overhears me doesn’t know the context in which I’m using the word. Maybe they do, but have been hurt by it so many times in the past it’s hard for them to accept it coming from someone who looks like me, no matter the context. And maybe there’s an argument that it’s not my problem if they feel that way - but on the other hand, I don’t want any possibility of being one more brick in someone else’s wall just because it was my opinion that they shouldn’t be hurt by my usage of the word. I don’t want to hurt someone else with my language even if it’s unintentional.
And that’s awfully complicated to have to think about every time, so I just don’t use the word, which I really have no desire to utter in the first place, even if it is in the lyrics of a fair bit of what I like to listen to.
See my biggest argument about this whole thing is “stop using it then”
I specifically like Morgan Freeman’s take. I’m paraphrasing because I haven’t read the quote in a while but it basically boiled down to: Y’all keep using the n word and then act surprised it’s so prevalent. You keep perpetuating the very thing you say you hate by doing so. Stop giving that word so much weight and it will lose meaning.
Now with that said, would racism still exist? Would certain people still refer to black people as n words? (God that looks fuckin dumb) Absolutely. Would I have ever used the n word if it wasn’t all over black media? Not a fuckin chance.
I literally only found out the word was bad because I was singing along to a rap song and the black guy next to me lost his fuckin mind about it. And the whole time he’s berating me all I can think is “so you know it’s not a word you want people saying but you put it in almost every sentence you use.”
Idk man like I said it’s a touchy subject and I understand that. I just feel like the massive knee jerk reactions are what keeps it going in the negative context more than in the casual “I’m singing a fuckin song” context
I hear you but at the end of the day - there really is no way I’m going to feel comfortable having an opinion on when black folks should or shouldn’t use it. I could certainly understand taking it back as a catharsis, but I could imagine a lot of other reasons that might come up if I’d lived the experience of black folks. Either way I don’t think I can equate the idea of me using the word as within the same realm as a black person using it.
Again, this all comes from a place of understanding where you are coming from, but I’ve spent a long time trying to understand where black folks might be coming from on this too, and I’m just sharing how my viewpoint has evolved over time.
It totally is, and I hope I’ve succeeded in being conversation-y and not asshole-y. :D
Didn’t take it offensively at all. It’s nice being able to simply discuss touchy topics without hostility.