I want to be respectful but if they say they don’t care what pronouns I use for them, that feels like it puts the decision on me to choose what to call them and I guess I would probably default to “they” because choosing a gender for them feels weird… am I wrong?
If someone tells you they don’t care about pronoun usage, believe them. I’m nonbinary and don’t care what pronoun people use for me, because I identify as both male and female. Most people default to “he” for me because of my beard, but others use “they” because of my proclivity for wearing skirts, nail polish, and lipstick. Rarely I’ll have someone use “she” (or I’ll use it myself), but ultimately, I’m just a person who exists outside of the gender spectrum (or right in the middle), and pronouns are just a grammatical tool to save time, so I prefer that people use whatever comes most naturally to them.