• Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that The relative position of the planets and the stars Could have a special deep significance or meaning That exclusively applies to only you But, let me give you my assurance that These forecasts and predictions are all based on Solid, scientific, documented evidence So you would have to be some kind of moron Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true Where was I?

      • Oka@lemmy.ml
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        6 months ago

        They’ve got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters Trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters Walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters Paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors Tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers Soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers

      • Oka@lemmy.ml
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        6 months ago

        Warrior!

        You might incredible strength, and you can probably pwn somebody’s face.

        But you are worthless without a priest, you are destined to raid for all your life.

    • MeatsOfRage@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out

      And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside

      And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died

      Except for me

      You know why?

      'Cause I had my tray table up

      And my seat back in the full upright position

      Had my tray table up

      And my seat back in the full upright position