If you don’t want a part of your body to get sore, then that part shouldn’t be pushing against something that doesn’t move along with it. That’s the thinking behind the vabsRider bicycle saddle, the two sides of which pivot in time with your pedaling.
Kids is one thing but I’m envisioning a balls version of the stick-in-the-spokes meme, with you writhing in agony in the road until an SUV comes along and puts you out of your misery.
I was thinking more of the chipmunk with his balls caught in the fence.