Been a software developer for 15 years. I’ve applied for hundreds of positions this summer and all of them either never call me back or say they are interested in other candidates. I actually fucked up two coding tests this week and I dunno anymore. I’m just so disappointed and money is starting to get tight, and I have a surprise medical bill for a biologic. I’m thinking when I can’t afford rent, I’ll just kill myself.
What’s worse is I did have a job for two months but I fucked it up and botched a production instance. They let me go a couple weeks later, I wasn’t a good fit. I wanted to die then, and the sensation hasn’t gone away either. I lie about it because saying you are suicidal is a great way to be rubber roomed.
Hey friend, I’m sorry that you’ve fucked up a bunch lately. I know the feeling. Just know that you are really valuable to your family and friends, and they’d be extremely hurt if you did do something like that.
Everyone is feeling so stretched right now, and you are not alone. But we will get through this, and things will get easier down the road.
I know it sounds stupid, but money is just… money. Yes we need it to survive in this day, but your life is worth so much more than a bit of cash or debt… and it sounds like you’re a smart person. So just know that those mistakes are a part of your journey, and a part of moulding you into the person you will be in a few years.
Been a software developer for 15 years. I’ve applied for hundreds of positions this summer and all of them either never call me back or say they are interested in other candidates. I actually fucked up two coding tests this week and I dunno anymore. I’m just so disappointed and money is starting to get tight, and I have a surprise medical bill for a biologic. I’m thinking when I can’t afford rent, I’ll just kill myself.
What’s worse is I did have a job for two months but I fucked it up and botched a production instance. They let me go a couple weeks later, I wasn’t a good fit. I wanted to die then, and the sensation hasn’t gone away either. I lie about it because saying you are suicidal is a great way to be rubber roomed.
Some days posting on 196 isn’t even worth it.
Hey friend, I’m sorry that you’ve fucked up a bunch lately. I know the feeling. Just know that you are really valuable to your family and friends, and they’d be extremely hurt if you did do something like that.
Everyone is feeling so stretched right now, and you are not alone. But we will get through this, and things will get easier down the road.
I know it sounds stupid, but money is just… money. Yes we need it to survive in this day, but your life is worth so much more than a bit of cash or debt… and it sounds like you’re a smart person. So just know that those mistakes are a part of your journey, and a part of moulding you into the person you will be in a few years.