These are all excellent and effective strategies for most human brains, but just not all. Very difficult to deal with teenagers aren’t solely a product of ineffective parenting - it’s not a 100% preventable problem. There’s neurodivergences like ADHD or ASD, hormone-affecting conditions like PCOS, and more severe behavioural health problems like schizophrenia - these are all incredibly difficult for well-adjusted, materially comfortable adults to deal with.
I definitely agree that not abusing kids will help reduce the amount of un-deal-with-able issue that those kids have as teens, but you can’t just wave a wand and make abuse stop. Unless we as a society allocate a large amount of resources to break cycles of abuse and eliminate the kind of poverty in which abuse festers, there will still be noteworthy amounts of childhood trauma.
I think some kind of state-run teenaged-care facilities is the best, most realistic option. It’s still a lousy option, but there would be more accountability than the private-run troubled teen industry, which is itself an abuse factory.
I have autism, and it’s not an insurmountable problem for a parent to deal with. Good strategies for raising a child with autism include having good sonic insulation in the walls, installing proper blackout curtains in their bedroom, getting the family used to using headphones, teaching your kids to cook, using movies to explain complex social situations to your kids, stim toys, and a healthy tradition of philosophical and sociological debate around the dinner table.
The movies thing is especially important. Any time there’s a juicy scene of interpersonal drama, you should pause the movie and have a discussion among the family about what each character is thinking and feeling and why they’re saying what they say. Good TV and a good discussion about it can help an autistic child to understand the world of social interaction and subtext. Autistic kids don’t absorb this stuff automatically like neurotypicals, so you have to talk about it and explain it regularly. Even something as simple as explaining why Han Solo doesn’t believe in the force (He’s lived a life of poverty and needs to believe that he’s in control of his own life in order to feel safe), can be really useful for a kid struggling to understand why people act, think, and speak the way they do. Everything’s got lessons in it for kids, and the thing about autistic kids is you gotta discuss it instead of expecting cultural osmosis to work properly.
These are all excellent and effective strategies for most human brains, but just not all. Very difficult to deal with teenagers aren’t solely a product of ineffective parenting - it’s not a 100% preventable problem. There’s neurodivergences like ADHD or ASD, hormone-affecting conditions like PCOS, and more severe behavioural health problems like schizophrenia - these are all incredibly difficult for well-adjusted, materially comfortable adults to deal with.
I definitely agree that not abusing kids will help reduce the amount of un-deal-with-able issue that those kids have as teens, but you can’t just wave a wand and make abuse stop. Unless we as a society allocate a large amount of resources to break cycles of abuse and eliminate the kind of poverty in which abuse festers, there will still be noteworthy amounts of childhood trauma.
I think some kind of state-run teenaged-care facilities is the best, most realistic option. It’s still a lousy option, but there would be more accountability than the private-run troubled teen industry, which is itself an abuse factory.
I have autism, and it’s not an insurmountable problem for a parent to deal with. Good strategies for raising a child with autism include having good sonic insulation in the walls, installing proper blackout curtains in their bedroom, getting the family used to using headphones, teaching your kids to cook, using movies to explain complex social situations to your kids, stim toys, and a healthy tradition of philosophical and sociological debate around the dinner table.
The movies thing is especially important. Any time there’s a juicy scene of interpersonal drama, you should pause the movie and have a discussion among the family about what each character is thinking and feeling and why they’re saying what they say. Good TV and a good discussion about it can help an autistic child to understand the world of social interaction and subtext. Autistic kids don’t absorb this stuff automatically like neurotypicals, so you have to talk about it and explain it regularly. Even something as simple as explaining why Han Solo doesn’t believe in the force (He’s lived a life of poverty and needs to believe that he’s in control of his own life in order to feel safe), can be really useful for a kid struggling to understand why people act, think, and speak the way they do. Everything’s got lessons in it for kids, and the thing about autistic kids is you gotta discuss it instead of expecting cultural osmosis to work properly.