Edit2: It’s a subjective perception I’m talking about. Are you offended? Why?
What’s the matter, why can’t men deal with me being sensitive and emotional? Is it because they struggle with me reminding them of having, too, emotions?
Edit: Do men think I’m weak when I show emotions? If so, why?? Why do women see it as a sign of strength when men are vulnerable, but men don’t seem to get it? Are they/are we dumb??
This is what is commonly referred to as “toxic masculinity”. That’s the crux of what they’re talking about. It’s not just that men are taught to be dangerous to those around them, it’s that we’re also taught to be hard and lonely Islands that seek no support.
It’s no way to live and it crushes you over time.
Not quite, I have a group of male friends who are very comfortable with being emotional with each other and I still prefer opening to women because they are much more concerned and able to deal with it, lot of men still don’t know what to do with it.
You’re still describing the effects of toxic masculinity, just the 2nd order effects rather than the first.
Why do you think a lot of men don’t know what to do with it? Why do you think a lot of men aren’t concerned?
It’s not some innate aspect of being a woman: it’s a suppressed aspect of being a human that society has pressed out of men.
They aren’t as used to talk about emotions and relationships so it’s easier to go with someone that is.
It’s no assumptions just facts
Yes. And the reason for that is toxic masculinity. That’s the point they were making. They were explaining the why, not the what.
I mean sure but if you want to look more in depth it’s not just toxic masculinity, there’s also toxic femininity involved most men have been hurt by their previous partner who they opened up to and their partner then used it against them or even ridiculed them in front of an audience. Or women around them mocked them for being emotional and crying
What you’re describing is still toxic masculinity and has absolutely nothing to do with toxic femininity. Men that have been hurt by their previous partners or ridiculed for being emotional, is toxic masculinity. This is because men are discouraged from expressing their emotions or seeking support, reinforcing the harmful stereotype that vulnerability is a sign of weakness. Men get hurt by women doing this because of the toxic view many men and women carry about masculinity and male gender roles.
Toxic femininity on the other hand, is a societal expectation placed on women to conform to traditional gender roles and stereotypes, like being passive, nurturing, and submissive.
Nope
Examples of Toxic Femininity
To identify toxic femininity, you need to know what to look out for to ensure they are not falling victim to toxic femininity guise as friendship or niceness by some women. The telltale signs include:
Slut-shaming and body-shaming – women who slut-shame or body shame others are toxic Talking over other people and belittling others, especially fellow women Making fun of another female to get the attention of a man. Shaming men for being too soft or having feminine traits that do not live up to societal expectations of what a man is. Passive aggression behavior can include patronizing behavior, fake niceties, and smiley faces after a harsh text. Sabotaging and backstabbing behavior like lying for their benefit, offering misleading advice, manipulating situations, and mocking others for their decisions. Resentment, jealousy, and bitterness towards others, especially fellow women, for their popularity, looks, and achievements Negative competitiveness with other women through dominance or sexuality
Men are often socialized to believe that showing emotion is reserved for children, women, and the weak. They are often taught that emotions are in direct opposition to “strength” and “manliness”.
Unfortunately, if men show emotion, they are often criticized and made fun of (often by other men), calling their masculinity into question. As if having emotions make you weak or less of a man.
Emotions are not a “weak” trait. Emotions are a human trait.
Men need to work hard to be supportive and accepting of other men showing emotion. De- stigmatize emotional men. Stop showing sensitive men or men who struggle or cry as “weak” or worthy of mockery. This is such an antiquated view and needs to be abolished.
Support your bros. Become comfortable with emotional expression. This will help struggling men everywhere, I guarantee it.
In my experience, this isn’t a gendered distinction - but rather just down to the individual person.
Some of my closest friends that are both men and women alike are friends I consider “letting my guard down” around. The same applies in the opposite direction, where I have friends (but generally more on the distant friend / acquaintance side) men and women alike that I have to be a bit more guarded around.
And while I can’t comment on this specifically because I of course don’t know you and as such have no frame of reference, from what I’ve experienced in the past and seen others go through, is that a lot of times it’s how you bring it up. If it seems more forceful, it’s going to have a higher chance to not land well with people (of any gender).
Edit: Another thing worthwhile to note, is that people have different ways of expressing emotional acceptance. For example, my grandfather would never turn me, or anyone away for expressing their emotions. But, he’s more of a silent listener, and doesn’t usually comment on it - but I know that he is still accepting of my emotions the few times that I bring it up. It’s very similar to the concept of love languages, if you’ve ever heard that. It’s very possible that the men in your life are more the silent listener type.
Pretty much that.
Because on the whole, boys are never taught to deal with any emotion but anger. All others must be suppressed lest you look weak…
To listen to another man express painful emotions means they may have to acknowledge that they are not masters of the universe and perfect, stoic gods in every way and in every aspect of their lives.
It takes real courage to allow yourself to be emotionally vulnerable around others and the vast majority of man are never able to to this with anyone but their partners (and will never admit that that they have) and most not even then.
To listen to another man express painful emotions means they may have to acknowledge that they are not masters of the universe and perfect, stoic gods in every way and in every aspect of their lives.
This is really helpful to hear
Glad to hear it helped.
These mags may also be helpful for you.
None of us are perfect, none of us have all the answers and none of us have control over this random, erratic world we live in.
Who’s downvoting this lol
The same people who can’t listen to men having emotions.
