• SickPanda@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    You are joking right? Online dating is even worse than offline dating.

    First of all there are far more men using online dating than women.

    Second men like and Text way to many women which leads women’s inboxes to be overfilled.

    Most of the few available women only want the top 15% of the men.

    Then the dead profiles aka. only their Instagram username tagged in bio.

    And there are also those who chat with you for a few days and then try to sell their adult content to you or want you to invest in crypto XY.

    I’ve met my gf on a dating platform 5 years ago and the online dating situation was bad then already. I occasionally saw the posts in r/tinder and oh boy has that thing become a shitshow since then.

    • SCB@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Idk I’m a married dude nearing 40 who is on dating sites a fair amount (it’s cool so is my wife), and I’m a pretty average guy all-around, and it doesn’t seem like this hellscape you paint it as. I have everything possible stacked against me for online dating, and I consistently get what I’m looking for.

      Yeah there are lots of crazies, but that’s because crazy people exist, and you’d run into them in more traditional dating too. Check out any romcom from the 90s and there’ll likely be a montage of crazies.

      • SickPanda@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I am glad that online dating works out for you my friend. Don’t wanna offend you but we are talking about young people. you turning 40 means you are middle aged. The customers of Tate and similar assholes are mostly under 30 years.

        • SCB@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          I regularly speak with women in their late 20s. My cutoff is 26 so I avoid people my daughter knows.

      • Ð Greıt Þu̇mpkin@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        If you’re on sites specializing in ENM that’s probably why, niche enough that the bots and toxic algo practices haven’t descended upon them yet

        • SCB@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          If there are ENM sites with people on them I’d love a link. I mainly stick to Tinder and Bumble because Feeld hasn’t been adopted in my area.

          Very open to suggestions tho.

          • meyotch@slrpnk.net
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            1 year ago

            Feeld has been really good for me compared to other apps. Im a relatively vanilla fellow but the culture around communication is stronger there and the results have been good. And Ive only been using it for single dating so far.

            Hope it rolls out for you soon because it has been a refreshing experience

            • SCB@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              I really like Feeld, it’s just that there’s near-zero adoption here. I keep semi-active on it in the hopes the user number keeps growing tho!

    • SnowdenHeroOfOurTime@unilem.org
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      1 year ago

      So you are a success story yourself for online dating, but because you see the most insane experiences from it getting posted on social media, it’s obviously now irredeemable…? Do you not have any self awareness?

      • SickPanda@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        it’s not a “success story”. I’ve experienced ALOT of bad stuff before my gf messaged me. I’ve been on multiple dating platforms and all of them were toxic af. I was deleting my accounts while my gf texted me.

        • SnowdenHeroOfOurTime@unilem.org
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          1 year ago

          Having bad experiences doesn’t erase the fact that you got a long term girlfriend from using online dating. That is still what happened. Unless you want to break up with your girlfriend right now, denying it’s a success story is denying reality.

          Like are you people really old or what? Everyone who can’t stfu about how bad online dating is always confuses me.

          • SickPanda@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            I guess i have to go a little more into detail to make you understand. I’ve been using online dating from age 16-20 and made only bad expirences. That’s why I was deleting all of my accounts. my girlfriend was the first woman who messaged me first and I immediately told her that I am deleting my account so we have to stay connected via WhatsApp. is it a success that I found a long term girlfriend? Yes Does it erase the shitload of bad stuff I experienced in the 4 years before her message? no.

            It’s a fact that online dating is toxic. Both Bumble and Tinder released statistics which show that women want the top 15% of men. Most men end up with single digit likes, if they even get any. Women’s inboxes on the other hand explode from unsolicited wiener pics or similar unwanted messages.

            • SnowdenHeroOfOurTime@unilem.org
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              1 year ago

              It isn’t a “fact”. The only fact you seem intent on ignoring is that people suck in general which isn’t a reflection on how tOxIC apps are. You found someone who doesn’t suck but we obviously can’t credit to the existence of an app for that, but we sure can blame all the people sucking on it right? Such a silly hill to die on.

              Also I don’t think any dating site has allowed sending pictures for a while, so no dick pics wouldn’t really be an issue.

              I’m average looking but still managed to get dozens of dates. Rejection sucks and the apps give you a lot of that but they also, again, demonstrably, give us long term relationships. It’s a FACT. An actual FACT. Subjective experiences are not facts, however us both having girlfriends right now is. Now tell me again how that doesn’t count for literally anything because women usually don’t message us back.