Please don’t ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.

  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.

  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.

  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).

  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.

  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

  • Cinner@lemmy.worldBEnglish
    35·
    1 year ago

    I have the solution because I too have been in this exact situation, but you can’t eat much or you’ll be extremely uncomfortable.

    The day before you go, drink a full bottle of magnesium citrate. This will cause liquid diarrhea and completely empty you out. This is used before Colonoscopies to give the doctor a clear view.

    Then for the next 3 days eat very little while taking 3 immodium each day.

    You’re welcome.

    • thegiddystitcher@lemm.eeEnglish
      15·
      1 year ago

      Since OP is pulling a Gandalf and keeping his secrets, maybe you’d care to share how you found yourself in such a no-shit scenario?

    • Luca@lemmy.worldEnglish
      4·
      1 year ago

      Magnesium Citrate does not fuck around. I used it once when constipated and it cleared me out good.

      I also barely slept that night and had to take the following day off work, because i absolutely could not stop shitting for almost 24 hours

      • Cinner@lemmy.worldBEnglish
        1·
        1 year ago

        What’s sad is I’ve been so constipated before (1 1/2 - 2 weeks of no pooping) that I drank a bottle of mag cit. And took some ex lax. And drank some miralax. And that still didn’t do much for a few days.

    • Mattchenzo@reddthat.comEnglish
      1·
      1 year ago

      Yep, this is the way… Empty your bowels entirely with the magnesium citrate, and then use immodium and don’t eat much and you will be good to go. (Good not to go, I guess!)