Castle of Not

Cursed castle. Everything within it can only be defined by what it is not.

[Players meet the beautiful princess.]

“A hideous prince does not stand before you.”

[Players find a chest of gold.]

“You have not found a rotten sack full of live crabs.”

Sounds like something that would need to be secured by the Antimemetics Division.

And Paula Abdul did the choreography for the dancing girls!

(Assuming that “no consequence” also means that I won’t die on the trip…)

• Witness the Tunguska impact.

• See a Beatles show when they were just some small time dudes playing in a crummy club.

• Visit the Great Exhibition of 1851 and go inside the Crystal Palace

Or if you’re in for a trashy good time, The Running Man starring Arnold Schwarzenegger!

“Sewing dissent against Sauron”

I think we can all agree that, as a team, collectively, the Istari did a great job!

–Saruman the White

Trump Admin: Cap interest rates at 10%, but also we repeal the thirteenth amendment.

Democrats: No! What is wrong with you?!

Republicans: DEMONRATS WON’T WORK WITH US TO CAP INTEREST RATES AND ALSO THEY DRINK SMOOTHIES MADE OF BABIES!

Republican Voting Base: [Thunderous applause. 90% voter turnout. 99% voter loyalty.]

Everyone Else: I dunno, both parties seem the same. [Sub-50% voter turnout. Interfactional backstabbing intensifies.]

There are people who, disturbed by “big government” today and its tendency to curb the advantages they might gain if their competitiveness were allowed free flow, demand “less govern- ment.” Alas, there is no such thing as less government, merely changes in government. If the libertarians had their way, the distant bureaucracy would vanish and the local bully would be in charge. Personally, I prefer the distant bureaucracy, which may not find me, over the local bully, who certainly will. And all historical precedent shows a change to localism to be for the worse.

—Isaac Asimov, Nice Guys Finish First, collected in The Sun Shines Bright, 1981

It was a hostile takeover. One of the original founders tried to prevent it from happening.

“I tried to find out who was playing Baldur’s Gate 3, but all I found was this worthless pile of sexual abuse evidence!” [Throws cardboard box into incinerator]

Mirrored:

No, I took it

I got his autograph at a convention once. Most celebrities fall somewhere close to the middle of the “smile, nod, sign autograph, receive money” curve. Tony Todd started asking me questions about what I was doing at the con, what sort of stuff I was looking forward to. He was sweet and kind and giving to a gigantic dork to whom he owed nothing, and he gave me a memory that I’ll cherish forever. He deserves every ounce of praise he’ll receive, and more.

Without becoming the worst version of what they hope to defeat, they at least have to acknowledge that the game has changed. Democrats are still trying to make three-point baskets while not doing much more than tut tutting about the fact that Republicans have set up a step ladder and are dumping bags of tennis balls through the hoop on the other side of court.

If there’s one thing I’d hope that Democrats would learn from Trump’s successes, it’s that playing the part of the staid, respectable, traditional politician is not a winning strategy. I don’t think it’s reasonable to suppose that adopting better policies will, in and of itself win elections; Trump has either terrible policies or none whatsoever, and voters still eat him up. He’s a carnival clown, and that’s what the majority wants.

Get out there and start screaming. Throw tantrums. Take credit for things (preferably good things that you did, but again, Trump proves that all you really need to do is take credit, period, and let reality try and catch up with you). Democracy is a shared hallucination, and Trump has proven that if you employ sufficient pressure, you can change the nature of the dream, policies and reality be damned. If Democrats don’t accept that public perception is reality and adjust their strategies accordingly, they and we are going to continue to get fucked for the foreseeable future.

The American electorate:

“There’s a horse. In the hospital.”

No I don’t! I tell the truth!