• 1 Post
  • 97 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: July 2nd, 2023

help-circle


  • Reading the other comments it sounds like this might be a healthy relationship.

    Idk if this is my own baggage talking but the only thing that comes to mind is has he been married before and how did that turn out?

    If he marries women and divorces them and leaves them in a bad situation, then I guess she should be ready for him to do the same to her eventually. I wouldn’t suggest she go asking a lot of questions in a short period of time because I feel like this stuff comes out naturally over time but as she learns about it she should be aware of it and be prepared. (Do things like save money, get a degree or some other means of being able to support herself just in case shit happens.) I know people change, but I also know people don’t and can keep the same behavior from relationship to relationship.



  • Find another activity to replace it and limit your time.

    Try to think, “this time, I’m going to go play with that game on my phone” or whatever that activity is.

    When I feel like I’m sick of browsing social media I’ve done things like get up and tidy up, open the day planner, do a chore, play a video game, read, and hell I bought some word search books on ebay to have around to pull out and do. There’s tons of other things to do that’s better than this shit, you just have to remember that it’s there and force yourself to go do it.


  • I hated the idea for the longest time. Then I realized a few things. I changed my outlook of working a hopeless job to a job being a tool for me to get the money I need to live a better life. I also accepted that life isn’t fair and that not all the work I put in will equal the output. It feels like you have to do the work of 10 men to get anywhere. I accepted that and I put myself to work.

    Sometimes you just have to get lucky and sometimes you have to grow. I worked many temp jobs and fast food restaurants until figured stuff out and landed a couple decent jobs. I started being able to hold a job for 1 year and then 2 years. I got lucky and found a temp job that decided to hire everyone perm. The catch was they waited to see who would sink or float. I floated. I wouldn’t have floated if I hadn’t had previous life experience.

    Look at a job as an avenue or tool to achieve your goals. If you don’t have any goals then just pick something. It could be as simple as you want to save up for something nice. Start small and pick bigger goals as you achieve them. And going back to the job as a tool thing, if you don’t like the tool then get a new one. You wouldn’t use a broken tool to fix something. Sometimes you have a bucket of random tools and you have to pull out a couple before you find the right or that isn’t broken. Whatever to you pick, just try and keep trying. As long as you keep trying, you’ll figure it out.

    I would also add to try to improve yourself along the way. Whether it be working on self esteem, how to write a resume, interviewing skills, how to cook, how to improve your finances, how to fix a car, work on a computer… Just work on something. You’ll only help yourself and learn transferable skills along the way.



  • I’m sorry that happened to you. What do you want to do next in life?

    One of the best lessons you can teach him is how to pick himself back up and keep moving. Make some goals. Talk about the goals with him. Talk about basic setbacks when they come up and how you change you plan to get around them. Life shit on you. It happens to us all in various degrees. It’ll happen to him so one of the best gifts you can give him is teaching him how to overcome it.

    You don’t have to get back to the same place you were, or even the same occupation. But make goals of some sort and strive for them. I hope for the best for you.