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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 14th, 2023

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  • I’m glad to finally read someone that’s say something real. Its all about lying, yes I educate myself and I even try to fake a fair enough resumee. I realize this is the only way to hope for something. I don’t have special abilities, not good at math, coding boring me. I try a lot of thing in this life, I am in a training program now, but things move slowly, I’m 35, I should have a wife by now, an happy place called home, but looks so far away, looks even that I lost the train to having that life. Feeling already old even if I do nothing, life ask things I dont have. Stupid things like a car, I don’t want it, I don’t like it, but people want me to have it. This example apply to everything. In order to have something I wish for I need to want something I don’t like, that’s so stupid and I feel bad.


  • Still everything is now ashes, dust in the wind, nothing. All this fun hobbies are now only a meanless memory, I didn’t have nothing back, all the fun you say is become, for me, hate. Hate to have wasted my time laughing like a fool behind videogames, books, even sports, telling myself that was okay, creating a big lie that hobby was something important, just to see it ending without any result. So that’s the point, limited time sure it’s everything, but meaning is also everything in this life.


  • I didn’t find any good enough hobby in this 35 years of life that didn’t fade after some time. At moment I’m very empty inside, I spend half day sleeping and other half working, everything looks expansive to do, I give up on everything, I’m keeping myself alive because I’m just scared of the pain and I can’t imagine stop existing.



  • I think human interaction change with times that tell us what we need to have to be good as friend. I am also running from people but not because I can’t deal with conflict but because shame. I spend many time to understand and shame is mine final answer. I am ashamed of my dirty apartment in my father garage, I am ashamed of not having a degree, a job, the will of even find an occupation. Then I ashamed of my body, fat and full of scars of heavy loss of height. Simple I am just a monster, that lives only because parents keep alive. What kind of friend can be possible be? That’s there reason to escape. This why not everyone can have interactions.













  • He become 30, and soon 40, nothing changed, he still virgin but he stopped to care, his life now is all about work, he reach even that 100k but money don’t give him nothing real back as human begin. Still hoping for something screw his days but he pretending not, he believed that going at some comixcon, or furry, or bdsm, was the answer but soon he give up, life is just work till die, many of us existing just for no reason, without never be loved or get the chance to love.