Turns out the A in AD&D stood for “Appalachian”.

…the St. Peter part is made up…

Which stands in stark lack of contrast with the rest of the bible.

Which would be a poor but not completely unreasonable way to describe what happens when you squish a clump to split it into individual grains so the oil can cook it evenly instead of making an oily white rice ball that has a fried outer surface.

Damn, can’t pay this month either. Sorry baby, you’re staying in.

I’ll assume they’re talking about breaking up clumps instead of the thing a serial killer would do and then just phrased it poorly.

I see what you’re saying, Star Trek just has too many redeeming qualities that could have made Scientology cool if they’d become StarTrekology instead.

Star Trek

… if you bought your Star Trek from a version of Wish that was also bought from Wish. Knock-offs all the way down.

His application to join the ATF is looking pretty strong though.

Must be cold, give it a blanket.

Would also accept a series of comic panels from a training montage where Answer learns to fight so it can defend itself.

We are still ascending on the roller coaster of bullshit and the drop is going to suck.

My foresight readies me for melee.

Are you sure about that? I thought coronavirus sales plummeted because people were worried it’d give them Corona beer.

Staff it with rich fucks looking for relevence deep in that Musky sphincter and change it to “Department of Getting Eaten”. Efficiency accomplished.

Call him Bigmet (pronounced “big-meat”) for short.

I’m worried that stupid is our best case scenario. For all we know, the rest are stupid plus a cattle prod to the junk so might as well stick with the one that isn’t currently zapping my balls.

Might be worth picking up some fire safety equipment if that might give you some peace of mind and reduce that barrier a little. Not talking about parking a shiny red fire truck in your driveway but a small kitchen fire extinguisher shouldn’t be too hard to come by. There are also stovetop extinguisher canisters that go off automatically when exposed to intense heat (fine for normal cooking but intended to be activated by an uncontrolled fire).

If you haven’t seen it already, I’d also recommend watching a video or two about how to control grease fires. Reading about it is one thing but seeing the demonstration of why not to use water really drives the point home. Scary for sure but the other side of it is that you learn how to handle one of the worst-case scenarios so it can be a confidence boost moving forward.

That one’s for chess moves.

Skip the preamble and lead with the last line, you’ve already won me over.