my grandparents have passed away now, but when i knew them they were unfailingly polite in public.

in private, Grandma had reservations about japanese people. i gave her leeway. Pearl Harbor was bombed on her birthday, and Grandpa went to Iwo Jima. i still felt i could bring a japanese boyfriend around, and as long as i was happy, he’d be treated right. Grandpa didn’t even suggest reservations. he took everyone as an individual worthy of respect until their behavior suggested differently.

my parents are in their 60s now, but i don’t have contact with them for other reasons. the last time i looked at my mom’s twitter i thought she had been hacked, the MAGA rhetoric she was spewing was so awful. not hacked, just an asshole.

ferrets are like kittens that never become cats. they get a little slower with age, but given they start like they’re running 3 times faster than the rest of the world, it’s not noticeable until you get a young ferret again.

my grandpa used commode, but i haven’t heard it from anyone younger. grandpa was a Depression era kid, and the family was poor to begin with.

he also said “shorts” instead of “underpants”, which caused my brother who only wore long pants some confusion and trouble.

you mean the thing where people, often women, have spent decades trying to expose the abuse happening in private homes, and trying to get it addressed?

because that’s what happened. women’s voices, speaking about marital rape and domestic abuse. getting the political power to change laws, to make it illegal, and give domestic victims the means to escape. it also surfaced the child abuse, again. it’s just not been buried again yet.

yep. I self-select out of dog friendly offices. if that’s a “benefit”, I can’t work there.

mostly, yeah! it was a very dysfunctional childhood, but we’re all mostly functional adults.

my HS graduation was on a Saturday, and my mom’s attempt was the following Monday. so I guess this has that beat for awful.

chronic depression really distorts your view of things. my mom honestly didn’t think it would taint my graduation or change my plans. sort of, like she was already gone from my life, so she was just trying to wrap things up?

unsurprisingly, even though she wasn’t successful, she still managed to screw me and my younger siblings up for a fair bit. it’s been 20+ years, and only one of us still is in contact with her.

for a lot of people in long term polyamory, it’s about intimacy, which sex is part of. even if you have relationships that are primarily about fun sexy times, you’re probably going to do a lot of scheduling to maintain those relationships, or find new ones.

cults often practice polygamy as a few men in power “marry” girls (teenagers or younger), and control the assets. this is a power imbalance that can easily be abused.

polyamory as a modern term is trying to differentiate from that. proponents emphasize enthusiastic consent (from all parties) and communication, and often will warn against any rigid hierarchy among the polycule members. that’s an ideal, so it’s certainly possible to find examples that fail, but the intent is that people are all equally respected.

for me, it’s seeing how similar we are. I went low contact and moved away almost 20 years ago. getting to know my now-transmasc brother when we’re both adults is wild. he’s dealt with things differently, but despite 8 years age gap and 18 years not talking, we have a lot in common still.

1984, not 1948, in case anyone goes looking for the reference

that’s not what’s meant. they mean, how long you’ve had an account with them, whether you have multiple accounts or loans with the institution, if you’ve been late in paying or carried very minimal balances or have a history of harassing customer service to the point customer service felt the need to record it.

it’s your relationship with the institution, not the ceo, and whether you’ve been a good customer or not really.

I had ferrets for a while. they liked to steal and hide things. you learn to check under the couch weekly just so you don’t find things by smell. and hope it’s not somehow inside the couch.

mostly it was the one guy, who preferred his chips and sweets, but knew his sister liked other things. she didn’t eat tomatoes or apples or fruit, but he’d carry that stinky orange down stairs for her, lips peeled back so he didn’t have to taste it too much.

not the OP you replied to, but someone else who loves the Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain book.

I think 5 days is ambitious. but a lot of what the exercises are doing is training you to see a different way. so it’s not impossible.

someone neurodivergent may struggle to get what the exercises are trying to teach or to reach the point they’re aiming for, so it might take them longer. those more inclined to pick it up faster probably aren’t going to need the exercises in the book; it’s already natural to them.

as we grow up, we learn “this is what a tree looks like, this is a dog looks like, this is what a car looks like”, etc etc. the way we see a new car then goes through that filter of “this is what a car looks like”. those filters are great for quickly identifying things and generally being a human in the world, so you don’t get hit by a car while you’re still figuring out if it is a car.

but those filters get in the way of drawing accurately. your eyes aren’t literally filtering anything; that’s all in your brain. so you need to learn to stop that part of your brain when you draw. that’s the biggest part of being able to draw decently. the rest is technical skill you get with practice.

I’d still recommend the original OP look for an artist collaborator, since children’s books need the illustrations to be as strong as the writing. there’s no way to get there in just 5 days.

I’m sorry for this. I adore seeing men being fathers, being positive adults in the lives of children. my own dad was more absent than not, but my grandfathers taught me a lot about how to be a decent human being, how to have relationships with others.

please don’t be absent for your daughter just because too many people have forgotten men are also capable of being nurturing adults for children.

as long as you don’t think the function bar is a search bar. coworker opened my excel spreadsheet and I guess thought it functioned like Google?

I was right behind her to train so no formulas were injured.

oh weird, Lexapro failed entirely at managing my anxiety. worked great on the depression side, which meant that dampener of the anxiety wasn’t in effect. spiraled quick, had to email the doc for an emergency appointment.

Effexor (venlaxafine) is the first SNRI I’ve tried and it’s been like magic.

same with ferrets. if you don’t give them outlets to be “bad”, they will destroy everything. lots of pretending I don’t notice a they drag the old shoes across the floor to the new hiding spot, or “steal” kibble from the bag. had one guy that would check to see if I was busy in the bathroom before he’d go do the thing he really wanted to do. like steal the candy off my desk.

my cat, on the other hand, just yells for what she wants. worst case, if I leave her alone too long, she might decide she deserves a treat and will get it for herself. from the bag I left on the floor, knowing she could her it herself.

it depends. I live in a studio, I still have a kitchen trash and bathroom trash, paper towels and cleansers in both. it’s just easier knowing I’ll always have quick access to clean up a mess. like cat vomit.

ideally I’d also have a flashlight and first aid kit stashed in both places, but those have been less necessary and so fell off the critical re-supply list.

I too am a new to Linux person. I started with mint, as the most like what I’m used to. I like seeing that there are options I might like better, along with why I, personally, might prefer them. as well as why mint didn’t rate high. and I like that it’s not just spitting out the creator’s favorite distro.

some people get decision paralysis, i get your recommendation. but you’ll also lose some people if you just give them the Linux that’s easiest and closest to what they already know, instead of highlighting how it’s flexible and customizable. we need both methods of recommending a distro.

there’s plenty of beginner guides telling me to start with mint. I like this picker that considers my interests. looks like I might be trying OpenSuse in the future.