Ergifruit [he/they]

one of those lil lipstick-shaped pocket knives?

death penalty.

Behind the Bastards (weird/interesting historical shitheads; usually, they did one on Musk and the Submarine Guy)

The Dogg Zzone (if you read Cracked back in the day, two of the main writers, plus guests)

Stuff You Should Know (Stuff. You should know.)

The Dollop (More weird historical shitheads, and sometimes good stuff??)

My Brother, My Brother, and Me (because i’m a basic removed and love dick jokes)

Distractible (also because i’m a basic removed and love dick jokes)

because they’re supposed to make it up in tips. yeah, it’s the business’ fault, but if you’re going there and supporting the business through your purchases while knowing you’re supposed to tip, and then not tipping, you’re the asshole. don’t get me wrong, it’s unethical. but OP knows you’re supposed to tip and is trying to wrangle their way out of it. if you can’t afford to tip, just don’t go.

invisibility. i would just be invisible 20/7… only because it’d be rude to go up to a cashier or to the barber’s while invisible.

you absolutely are the asshole if you don’t tip. if you can’t afford to tip, then don’t eat out/just hit up fast food/go anywhere where people are paid a decent wage. most servers make under $5 an hour. if you’re not tipping, you’re directly exploiting them.

Munchlax, Drifblim, and Beedrill. and i, much like every disaffected child in the 2000’s, wanted Entei to be my dad.