I would just like to both validate and challenge your view of the UK. I lived in Torquay (Devon, so the southwest) for a good long while, albeit during the height of lockdowns, and community felt nonexistant. There were some punk-type-folks attempting to get stuff started right when I moved away, but only just then iirc.

I moved to Inverness (Scottish Highlands) and it’s night and day. There’s a queer community doing hella shit, there’s a tool library popping off, lots of good local initiatives are being organised and taking off.

My kneejerk response is to say that Inverness beats the hell outta Torquay. But the thing is, about 4-5 years ago NONE OF THE STUFF I mentioned was going on. The queer meetup was organised by one dude who moved up from London and was gobsmacked that there wasn’t an active community. Now it’s consistently a huge, weekly event. There are even offshoots of quieter meetups that had to be created because the main one is So Successful. But all the local queers will tell you that before this started, they thought they were all alone up here.

And the tool library is only about a year old, but keeping on well.

So on one hand, yeah, I think the UK has a very… independent culture. But once someone identifies a need in a community and fills that need, people tend to show up and appreciate it.

Also, i reckon this is a good time to be an organiser. People are tired of being alone during a pandemic, people are tired of seeing what other communities do via the internet and want their communities to do the same.

Tl;dr be the change! There’s an appetite for it.

I can see the concern, as a trans and nonbinary person, about the phrasing of the headline. Casual readers will totally think the actual guidance says “if you fuck up a person’s pronouns, you go to jail” or whatever.

But not the guidance itself. We need more protections against intentional, malicious misgendering as verbal harassment. Which is usually less “she said— oops, they said—“ and more stuff like “(female coworker) put has pronouns in her signature? I thought she was a REAL WOMAN”

(The second being a real example from a friends work place. Funny thing is, friend is stealth trans and the coworker being misgendered is cis, but i digress)

But yeah all that aside I think the real context is misgendering when someone needs the bathroom, e.g. “you’re in the wrong bathroom” type comments. Where we really need stronger protections.

I like option 2, I thought I would prefer Option 1 before I saw 2 but it’s executed really well in 2! Also, that illustration is gorgeous, and thank you for sharing the illustrator’s details. I want my next novel to be solarpunk, and I am definitely in the market for a new cover artist…

I need to add this and Murder in the Tool Library to my storygraph. And preorder/buy a copy of both tbh.

This makes me so happy because at least half of the things in community sufficiency column are things I see happening in my city. Saw a flier for a fermentation course recently as well as general veg growing, not to mention the community gardening initiative where people plant edible plants in public spaces. I still need to find a day I can help out with that one. Then we have a local mattress store that sells bespoke and/or handmade mattresses for affordable prices, and specifically employs disabled folk so they can be paid a living wage while upskilling. Then there’s the tool library that’s saved many a DIY project of mine…

I live in a chronically underfunded part of Scotland. In the past i lived in an underfunded part of England. Don’t get me wrong, no city should be underfunded to start with, that’s a government crime imo. But the Scottish city took underfunding and went “fuck the government, we have each other” while the English city just kept crumbling.

All of this said not to brag, but because it proves that this shit can work, does work, and is working. And i find that inspiring.

The other morning my dogs woke me up way too damn early, but it meant I got to watch a very fat pigeon on the power line behind my house, and I got to see the finch population rapidly increase around it. (I swear I saw one little bird and by the time I got out of bed there were 5 jetting around. Pigeon did not move.)

I agree that these are luxuries for a lot of people. Some of them can be found with mindset shifts (from “fuck you dogs” to “oh look, pretty birds” for example) but it’s also hard to shift your mindset to positivity when our society tries its damnedest to beat happiness out of you.

A friend literally just gifted me a copy of this because I’ve been feeling so burnt out by capitalism, and let me tell you, I devoured that book. It spoke to my weary soul. And made me want to quit my job (I already was wanting to quit my job)

I’m so interested in this subject, but I have no societally-wide answers. I’m coming at this from the perspective of someone solarpunky who will have a child soon, and then as someone who will be educating that child eventually. I know what I WILL NOT do is send them to American public school, because of my own traumatising experience in that situation. Also because I live in the UK now. But I don’t want to send them to UK public school either, if I can help it. Still too much focus on rule following and “behaviours” as things to be changed, instead of behavior as communication.

In the years before kiddo goes to school, or if I choose to home educate, I’m gonna try pulling in some inspiration from montessori/waldorf/reggio emelia styles. (I’m realising now that I know those names but not exactly what they stand for anymore. Gotta redo my research, because I know they’re all a mixed bag)

But I think the ideal for school is time in nature, problem solving, finding answers over memorising them, etc. Big emphasis on time in nature, too-- I very much love tech and that should play a part in education too, but learning how the world in its most basic state works is so important. Especially with regards to where food and utilities come from.

We’re not talking about hair colour though, this is obviously reducing a pic of some friends to “haha big booba small booba”. That’s kind of textbook objectification.

I have a few conditions that affect my spoon usage, like autism/ADHD and mild chronic fatigue. But I’m also pregnant, which means every day I put N+1 spoons into the “avoid nausea” drawer, and there’s a steadily increasing multiplier on any activity that means I have to walk places. Lately being vertical too long costs a bit o spoon.

All this to say that yesterday my husband sent me this comic and I immediately replied “that’s me”.

(A good percentage of his messages to me consist of Foxes in Love comics, and they are ALWAYS incredibly accurate)

I’d be down but I require my own personal bucket of thumb drives

That’s a good plan, it might be tricky with international transfers… but maybe I can set my mom up as a “collection point” and have her transfer money to me once it’s been gifted. Though I might be overreacting about international-ness, I WILL be there in March to celebrate baby and I can just deal with American Currency Issues then.

That’s a good point on internet literacy. I do have some older relatives who might not be able to figure out the weirder list sites. Or, geez, international money transfer…

I will consider starting a parent group! I’m 100% awful at reliably checking in (As evidenced by my responding to everything here a week later) but I don’t mind modding really.

Haha fair enough on picking battles… I’m already prepping for how the heck I’ll ensure they’re well educated. I work from home, and I work a 4 day week, but even then I think my dream of home education would end me.

Yessss cloth diapering. I’ve been working on sewing some even (including for years before I was pregnant) because I’m extra and ridiculous. But I haven’t found a local diaper service… might be smart. We don’t have a tumble dryer, so everything line dries, and while sun is good for stains and disinfecting and it will be Summer… it won’t be summer forever, and pulling a frozen nappy off the clothes line will only be funny once. Or twice.

God I’m so afraid of (inevitably) becoming consumerist. Even if I’m 100% prepared for the Needs, there will be a tenth, hundredth, millionth time a kid just Wants something and I will not be able to say no lol

Oh trust me, I have long since infiltrated my buy nothing groups. But duly noted regardless, because I need to start utilizing them more! And thanks for the advice on checking about recalls, I hadn’t thought of that!

Oooh I like the friends taking on a role of gift… gatekeeper? Because on one hand, it lets me maintain the surprise, but also my friends are based where most of the gift-senders would be (The US) and it’ll be way easier for them to text a fellow American than god forbid texting the UK at international rates.

I also like this idea of approved companies/websites. Thank you!

That’s a really good point on donating, nothing like Baby’s First Charitable Donation.

I had admittedly completely forgot about birthdays and christmas. Oops. Yeah this is gonna be a long task, isn’t it?

Also, thank you! And duly duly noted. I feel one step ahead now, because I also have no idea what I’m doing!

I like the “ask for advice” idea. I can ALWAYS use more advice (and it’s way easier to dispose of when it’s junk…)

I do hear you on not wanting to rob people of giving, it’s a nice feeling and I don’t want to suck the joy out of this experience for other people just for my personal Amazonian battles. I’m wondering if giving a nice card gives people the same level of joy (it does for me on both giving and receiving, anyways).

And yeah, that’s fair about it being hard to beat Amazon 100%. I figure it’s an uphill battle but I can at least sisyphus my way up a way meters.

I just want to say that I love that this book isn’t on Amazon (or is but I just can’t find it). I’m an author as well and the amount of focus there is on “get your book on Amazon!!!” drives me bonkers. Evil evil corporation, as we know (here anyways).

Anyways that aside, cover is gorgeous, and the blurb is super intriguing. Like, a murder in a place full of things you can murder someone with? That’s a neat premise.

I’ll set a reminder to grab it from smashwords on the 8th!