You know what really aggravateses me is them immigants. They want all the benefits of living in Springfield, but they ain’t even bothered to learn themselfs the langwich!

Moe Syzlak

It’s a totally outrageous paradigm.

The US president reminds me of the kings of old - more so than anybody actually called a king. The kind of fawning exaltation their current and former leaders receive is way, way over the top. ‘Presidents Day’ like there’s a pantheon that needs worshipping: pathetic. The fear/respect people close-to treat them with reminds me of the servile peons under some all-powerful autocrat, and not for no reason. The power these people have is way, way, way over the top, power that - rather than helping disillusion an entire population brainwashed by the lie of superiority - wages revenge wars and swings dicks.

What are the symbols on his halo?

In the 1820s, you’d be watching beetle documentaries, you waste of space

Or something Star Wars

That’s a massive ballache

That all seems very weak.

So, once? It happens to a few others, probably.

Christ, what a bunch of contrived bollocks. Who’s the irish guy with the whiskey? Seamus? I don’t even know if he mentions it once. And his spells blowing up is just the films.

What’s the skinwalker thing from?

None of that is correct.

• The slave thing was about brainwashing and exploitation, and how it’s wrong.
• I don’t know what you’re referring to with the apartheid thing.
• The goblins are antisemitic because they have big noses? That’s been a staple of goblin anatomy since they were created.
• The main character becomes an anti dark sorcerer guy, like counterterrorism, so nothing to do with enforcing all that gubbins anyway.

Oh, and thanks for the ‘/s’. You know, otherwise I really would’ve thought you were giving it a compliment after a full paragraph of invective.

It ‘unlocked’ my stomach once; tore the fucker right open. They gave me morphine to take for the pain, which went well. Anyway, three years sober now.

Don’t get me started on how coddled the modern anus is.

A Donald duck

Took Aragorn that long to get kinged

Black riders on spiders

How old are these kids? Because those books get impressively eloquent as they advance, not to mention disturbing:

A creature of an older world maybe it was, whose kind, lingering in forgotten mountains cold beneath the Moon, outstayed their day, and in hideous eyrie bred this last untimely brood, apt to evil. And the Dark Lord took it, and nursed it with fell meats until it grew beyond the measure of all other things that fly; and he gave it to his servant to be his steed.

Are kids gonna love that or wonder what the hell he’s talking about? I can’t decide.

The Rob Inglis version is good, discounting his singing.

Was it wrong that he punched his producer for not getting him a hot meal and called him a “lazy Irish cunt”? Possibly, but his series about a farm is doing very well.

Alan Partridge

That’s the question, Horatio.