The statute, which can lead to reproductive coercion in a state that has banned abortion, has recently gained nationwide attention

At six months pregnant, H decided enough was enough. She had endured years of abuse from her husband and had recently discovered he was also physically violent towards her child. She contacted an attorney to help her get a divorce.

But she was stopped short. Her lawyer told her that she could not finalize a divorce in Missouri because she was pregnant. “I just absolutely felt defeated,” she said. H returned to the house she shared with her abuser, sleeping in her child’s room on the floor and continuing to face violence. On the night before she gave birth, she slept in the most secure room in the house: on the tile floor in the basement, with the family’s dogs.

Under a Missouri statute that has recently gained nationwide attention, every petitioner for divorce is required to disclose their pregnancy status. In practice, experts say, those who are pregnant are barred from legally dissolving their marriage. “The application [of the law] is an outright ban,” said Danielle Drake, attorney at Parks & Drake. When Drake learned her then husband was having an affair, her own divorce stalled because she was pregnant. Two other states have similar laws: Texas and Arkansas.

    • fustigation769curtain@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      Two other states have similar laws: Texas and Arkansas.

      Why am I not surprised? The sad part is, Texans are delusional enough to think they’re better than Florida, lol.

      I genuinely believe texans are the most delusional people in the entire US.

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        Recently met a Texas resident who swore it was the best place “to raise children”

        If the news are to be believed, I think it was probably a veiled anti LGBTQ victory lap

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          I bet their reasoning somehow boiled down to “taxes.” The anti-LGBTQ stuff is just icing on the cake for most of these people.

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            And the dumb part is that the taxes in Texas are on par with California, just done through different categories. So, you pay the same for significantly worse government services and significantly fewer rights.

            Texas: the one star state

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          I sure hope you can. What would that require?

          If you can find somewhere affordable in Colorado (unfortunately that would be in the sticks teeming wirh right wing nuts) I can highly recommend it.

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        I am kinda calling BS on this, as I got divorced in Arkansas and there was never a question about my ex wife being pregnant nor was it ever mentioned by any attorney or judge. Maybe it’s only used when there is a clear sign of pregnancy or when the husband wants to control the wife who may have filed for divorce. This could be a new law as I got divorced over 10 years ago.

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          Oh!? A law that wasn’t in effect when you went through the same life situation wasn’t in effect when you went through it, so it’s BS?

          Was Henry Ford’s Model T car, the printing press, and the fact that it used to be legal to own people also BS because those things weren’t at the store last time you went?

          It is not a case of whatever the fuck it is you want to think it maybe it. It is exactly the evil those who kinda call BS have sown, and the thresher is reaping its way to you eventually too.

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          “I’m calling bs on this” WTF??? Are you misogynistic, ignorant, just stupid, or all the above? Your reasoning is that you didn’t hear about it personally 10 years ago when it might have been relevant to you?

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            When my personal experiences go against what a news article claims, I start to think critically about the source. I’m not disclaiming or debating anything about Missouri law, but by throwing in that comment about Arkansas seems like they are being a bit sensational to get a wider audience reaction. I would not doubt for a second if this law exists in either of those states, but it’s most likely enforced by choice.

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              Calling bs is disclaiming… think man think… your tone is strong but tpur words are weak. Why do you think this is?

          • FlowVoid@lemmy.world
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            No, the law was passed in 1973. At the time, the Missouri legislature was still controlled by Democrats.

            It was trying to stop men who would finalize a divorce before the birth of their child in order to avoid establishing their paternity.

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          Do they not teach geography in Arkansas? I guess not, so, FYI, Missouri is not Arkansas. They’re different states with different state laws.

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      I think we should stop pitting states against each other in a race to the bottom and see this for what it is: working class people having their rights taken away by the wealthy elite. The more we are divided the easier it is to do this type of thing. The politicians are doing this, not the people. And they have set up and continued to prop up a system that under educated voters, while also underpaying them and blaming it on anyone else they can do everyone is mad at everyone. We need to stop blaming each other and band together and force them to fix it.

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        Thank you. Being a Texas resident, I’m not especially happy when I hear stuff like “all Texans are delusional”, a lot of us simply don’t have a choice in the matter of where we live. Some of us are trying to make this a better place to be, but it takes time and we’re constantly blocked by rich assholes clinging to power like their lives depend on it (and they probably do at this point). Class consciousness is lifting up the less fortunate, don’t put us down for laws and policies we had no say in creating.

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        Missouri was a shit state before this Trainwreck bullshit… nothing about it is redeeming… literally the entrance to the worst parts of this country.

        That all being said your argument is correct 💯.

  • Nobody@lemmy.world
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    This Christofascist shit is getting out of control. On what planet is a woman staying with her abuser a good thing? What do you think is going to happen to her child if she stays?

    If a pregnant woman is wanting a divorce, you can be certain of two things: 1) there’s a reason for it, and 2) that reason is none of your fucking business. The party of small government, ladies and gentlemen.

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      Most conservatives around the world claim that they want to be small government, but really what they want is to control everything everybody does and if it all possible thinks. They literally are the opposite of conservatism.

      • DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe
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        Maybe you should consider whether conservativism has ever meant what they said it meant, considering its historical positions of defending theocracies, monarchism, slavery, and fascism.

      • Zink@programming.dev
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        Limited government for me, my buddies, and my investments.

        …but lots of laws are unfortunately necessary to protect the core of American values (i.e., me, my buddies, & investments) from all the undesirables out there!

        /s

    • PM_Your_Nudes_Please@lemmy.world
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      “Small government” has been redefined by conservatives. When a democrat says small government, they mean they don’t want regulation in every part of their personal life.

      When a conservative says they want small government, they mean they want a government big enough to oppress minorities, but too small to ensure those minorities have their rights respected.

      That mentality is also largely why conservatives get so up in arms about the norm being shifted, and new things getting normalized. Because the conservative mindset is entirely focused on conforming to the norm, and excluding those outside of the norm. So if the norm changes, they believe they need to change to fit the new norm or they’ll suddenly find themselves excluded.

      It’s why they get so upset about minor shit like blue hair or piercings; As they begin to see it normalized, they begin to think “will I be forced to get piercings or dye my hair just to conform?” They explicitly support changes to the norm that already confirm their worldview and habits, because that further entrenches them as the protected norm. But they rabidly oppose the normalization of anything that doesn’t fit.

      So if you’re a white married hetero couple with two kids, that’s what you’ll support. No divorces allowed, because we’re married and can’t normalize divorce. No blue hair allowed, because we’re Wonder Bread white and have never dyed our hair, and therefore can’t allow anything but natural hair colors. No abortions allowed, because childfree couples are a threat to our norm. No gay marriage, because we’re hetero and can’t shift the norm away from that. No drug decriminalizing, because the occasional bottle of wine has always been enough for us and we can’t normalize anything else. Et cetera, et cetera…

    • Fapper_McFapper@lemmy.world
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      America is in its death throes. Republicans and Christians are choking her and the rest of us are just standing around wondering if anyone is going to step in and help.

      • STOMPYI@lemmy.world
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        The judicial branch was bought, the executive branch probably in on it and/or out of touch, the legislature branch is half circus half Corp sponsored… ya we have a 3 way and not that fun holiday vacation consensual kind…

    • kibiz0r@midwest.social
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      A government that’s just small enough to fit through your front door and rule your personal life.

    • kent_eh@lemmy.ca
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      On what planet is a woman staying with her abuser a good thing?

      the same one where a rape victim is forced to give birth to that rapists child.

      And, if these Nat-Cs get their way, the biblical rule that a rapist must marry his victim will probably become actual law.

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      Missouri is crazy. Its the absolute cheapest state to live in that has legal weed. At one point they were going to build a supersonic train from Saint Louis to Kansas City (and maybe they still are?) Sounds like a liberal paradise right? Wrong, they still occasionally make the news for doing the same kind of shit Texas or Russia would do. So are they liberals or fascists? Schrodingers box of political alignment.

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      What do you think is going to happen to her child if she stays?

      The kid is going to become a neglected ignorant bigoted right-winger. Mission accomplished.

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      it’s been out of control for 40 years since thatcher and reagan. that was its origin and those are the mistakes that need fixing - shitting on education and health care, shitting on mental health, shitting on doing anything the right way because it’s not “the american way”. honestly fuck america.

  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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    Holy fuck, that’s been a law since the 70s! 50 years of supposed progress and that’s still on the books. How far we’ve come.

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      It was considered progressive at the time, passed by a Democratic legislature in fact.

      This law was meant to stop men from divorcing pregnant women as a way to avoid child support. By forcing men to wait until after birth, courts could set up child support during the divorce proceedings.

      • Tinks@lemmy.world
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        You know, from that perspective I can understand the point of it, but there should have been guard rails built in for women to escape abusive relationships. That was an extreme oversight.

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        Why not just put them on the hook regardless? This seems like a really stupid way to achieve that goal, with horrific consequences.

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      How are you surprised?

      Did you think conservatives finally started being honest with what they wanted?

      They didn’t stop with forced births, they won’t stop with this, they want to go back to when women were literally property. Under control of their fathers until sold off in marriage for a dowry.

      Because that’s what the Bible says.

      They just know that it’s easier one step at a time then all at once.

      If they get women as property, they’ll push for other races and religions to also be property, because the Bible also says slavery was cool based on race/religion.

      They’re far right Abrahamic extremists, same as any other.

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        I am honestly surprised. I don’t live in the US and I just cannot fathom this being a law anywhere. Never in my wildest dreams.

        The idea that you want a custody deal in place before the divorce, therefor pregnant women can’t get divorced is absurd and assumes a family law/divorce court wouldn’t ask that question, so I doubt that’s actually the reason.

        This law just seems harmful and incentivizes awful awful things.

      • gedaliyah@lemmy.worldM
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        Abrahamic

        Just say Christian. No need to drag Jews, Muslims, Baha’is, etc. into this mess.

        • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
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          They all have far right extremists, and they want the same things. The only difference is what prophets they follow, which I don’t care about.

          The far right extremists are the same as far as I’m concerned and I refuse to treat any of them as somehow better or worse.

          • gedaliyah@lemmy.worldM
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            So? Hindus have far-right extremists. Athiests have far-right extremists. If you have a problem with far-right extremism, just say that. If you have a problem with Christian nationalism, then say that. Naming the enemy matters.

  • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world
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    What’s next? Gonna take away her ability to have her own credit card and bank account unless a man signs for her like we did in the ‘70s?

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    It’s a law that perfectly demonstrates why religion needs to be completely separated from state affairs.

    They simply do not want children born out of wedlock.

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      They also don’t want children that results from adultery. They allow abortions for that. Wait, wait. Sorry, that’s just the bible.

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      I can’t imagine how mean our government/culture must look to people who live in reasonable developed societies elsewhere. It looks insane from inside the country, and we’re the ones used to it and often related to the vindictive fucks’ voters!

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    Why the hell is America such a backwater shithole? Like the education system in my country is deeply flawed, but at least we don’t have religious zealots.

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      It’s because the majority of the people, which are people who do not like this stuff, are also complacent as fuck and will tolerate just about anything if it means they don’t actually have to get off the fucking couch.

      • Mossheart@lemmy.ca
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        We’ve transitioned from ‘off the couch’ to 'grinding every waking moment to survive and are too tired to care about getting involved in local politics after you just got off shift at your second job ’

    • EmperorHenry@discuss.tchncs.de
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      at least we have strong free speech laws and quite a few states have good self-defense laws. some good, some great, but there’s a handful of states that are terrible about any kind of self defense that involves killing a home invader

      In quite a few places, you can’t use force to remove a trespasser if they decide to camp on your land.

      • L3mmyW1nks@lemmy.world
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        Well, who needs bodily autonomy when you can just use slurs without repercussion. I really don’t get why you try to reason with free speech or self defense laws against against this intrusion of your actual freedom.
        Being forced to keep a pregnancy going and then being forced to stay in marriage won’t get better when you can legally say whatever you want or shoot someone trespassing on your land…

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        Imagine being so delusional, you think those are unique or even worse… Needing those. You fantasise about murdering someone, how about Living in a place where that’s not even a consideration? I don’t have to worry about someone invading my home and having to defend myself. 3rd world countries are safer than your sorry excuse of a nation.

      • Regrettable_incident@lemmy.world
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        And that’s something else that makes a lot of the world look at America like a backwater shithole. Feeling the need to be able to kill other people - that might be important to many Americans but from the outside looking in it seems ignorant and barbaric.

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        Every state allows lethal force to protect yourself within your home. It’s a GOP talking point lie that states don’t allow you to defend yourself.

      • Allero@lemmy.today
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        Imagine that - if someone camps on your land, you can just call the police. They will guide the trespasser out and initiate proceedings.

      • medgremlin@midwest.social
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        And yet, many (if not most) women who defend themselves from their abuser with a firearm get convicted on murder charges… mostly in the states you mention as having “good self-defense laws”.

    • henfredemars@infosec.pub
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      This is a very old law. It’s recently garnered attention, and while I don’t disagree with you, I don’t think the law by itself is a symptom of backsliding because it’s been around for a long time.

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        Old law exist everywhere i have one where i live saying i can’t throw little people on sunday the symptom of backsliding is actually using the law

        • Tedrow@lemmy.world
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          Anti sodomy laws have been in place in many states for over 100 years. You are absolutely correct about enforcement.

  • TurtleJoe@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    Number one cause of death of pregnant people in the US is murder. I wonder what the rates are like in these states versus others.

    • unreasonabro@lemmy.world
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      i’ma go out on a limb here and say… the same? cuz “it’s higher” was back over on the main stem…

      • FlavoredButtHair@lemmy.world
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        I remember telling a guy years ago, I don’t plan on getting married or having kids…"

        His response was", Oh no, you got to, that’s what the good lord wants. "

        I replied with" What he be a good lord if he wanted you to jump off a bridge and kill yourself? "

        He just walked away. I don’t understand why people feel the need to live a life based on religion. Believe in what you want, but don’t shove it in people’s mouth like a penis. Just let people live their lives however they want.

        • Shou@lemmy.world
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          It’s all about power. People love having power and the men got their sky daddy’s favor.

    • PM_Your_Nudes_Please@lemmy.world
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      Saying it goes up is a bit of an understatement. The number one cause of death for pregnant women is homicide. Most people assume it‘s some sort of pregnancy complication. But nope, it’s just straight up homicide. Because when a woman gets pregnant, there’s a good chance that the father is not okay with it.

  • ...m...@ttrpg.network
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    8 months ago
    1. Move to Missouri
    2. Marry a bunch of women and get them pregnant
    3. Tell them about each other
    4. Stream the fights on TokTik or something
    5. Profit
    • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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      I’ve seen this one before, they all gang up on you together and hatch a plan for revenge and the whole thing turns into a comedy.

  • Clent@lemmy.world
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    It’s not rape if you’re married.

    Gotta stay married if you’re pregnant.

    Some states have codified: pregnant, bare foot and chained to the stoves

    'Merica!

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    What the actual fuck is wrong with these people? They aren’t even trying to hide the endgame here.

    I guess it’s time for blue states to start negating residency requirements for divorce. Just another step towards balkanization.

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      What even is the endgame here though?

      So I get conservatives want many babies but without providing any care or (especially) pay, perfectly fuels their pockets this way. But how does this work to their advantage? You just get more abuse this way. How the fuck does that help in their baby factoring scheme?

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        Broken homes feed into the prison-industrial complex, the only remaining form of slavery currently allowed in our country? It’s not just about the babies. You need to make sure they end up poor, desperate, and too broken to hope for better as adults.

      • unreasonabro@lemmy.world
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        the endgame is when they start saying “well I didn’t think they were gonna do that” and acting all innocent as their fascist rhetoric turns the country into a fascist hellhole thanks to their violent dipshittery

      • Cosmicomical@lemmy.world
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        Seriously? The endgame is clear. Reduce access to education, force people to have kids that will be born in that environment and raise an ignorant neglected bigoted class that is easily controlled and manipulated.

      • kent_eh@lemmy.ca
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        What even is the endgame here though?

        Control. Power. Compelled obedience.

      • BradleyUffner@lemmy.world
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        What even is the endgame here though?

        Suffering. Suffering is the endgame. They get off by causing those they feel are lesser to suffer as much as they can.