(Frodo slips on the ring)
Sauron: “Hello, Frodo, what’s happening? Ummmm…If you could just go ahead and bring the ring to Mordor on Saturday, that would be greaaaaaat.”
“We also would need you to not throw the ring into Mt. Doom on Saturday, m’kay? Let me get you another copy of that scroll.”
My Precious.
Frodo: it’s some kind of elvish. I cannot read the fiery letters.
Gandalf: There are few who can. It is written in the language of Mordor which I will not utter here. In the language of men it says PC LOAD LETTER.
Frodo: PC LOAD LETTER? Wtf does that mean?
If…if… if I have to change offices again… I’m going to uh… Burn down The Shire
Milton walked into Mordor and set the realm on fire. That’s why everything is burning.
I love that in this universe, the Dark Lord is canonically named Bob.
The Dark Lord Bob doesn’t quite have the same ring to it, does it?
We’ve already established he has a stapler.
