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The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldM to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 11 months ago

His presence terrorizes this town

lemmy.world

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His presence terrorizes this town

lemmy.world

The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldM to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 11 months ago
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  • "no" banana@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    I don’t want to stop him.

    • KISSmyOSFeddit@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      I want to be him.

      • Iheartcheese@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        I’d fuck him.

  • Xephonian@retrolemmy.com
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    11 months ago

    20 gallons a year isn’t much at all.

    “Man reasonably consumes cheese” isn’t as catchy I suppose.

    • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      11 months ago

      The average American consumes something like 40 lbs of cheese a year per the USDA. I can’t tell you how much a gallon of cheese weighs but it seems like it’s a fair bit more than 2 lbs each.

      • Crowfiend@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Per Google, and doing the math, a gallon of cheese is 8 pounds (roughly 4kg). So that’s 160lbs in a year.

        Holy shit that’s a fucking lot of cheese. Someone stop this madman.

        • hakase@lemm.ee
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          11 months ago

          That’s about a pound of cheese every two days. Pretty sure I could hit that number without any trouble at all.

    • jettrscga@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      It’s 0.85 cups per day every day of the year.

      It’s not a lot, but he’s either horrifyingly consistent or floods his body with cheese on a few ritualistic days. I fear either option.

    • Pulptastic@midwest.social
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      11 months ago

      An average of ~600 calories a day or so from liquid cheey.

      • nxdefiant@startrek.website
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        11 months ago

        I don’t know if that’s a typo, but “cheey” is a delightfully terrible name that I am stealing.

  • VonReposti@feddit.dk
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    11 months ago

    Liquid “cheese”

    • zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev
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      11 months ago

      Ashes to ashes, milk to liquid cheese.

    • Pleb@feddit.de
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      11 months ago

      I feel like throwing up thinking about what 1 spoon of that stuff would be like.

  • usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca
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    11 months ago

    Is he fattening up his tapeworm?

    • LEONHART@slrpnk.net
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      11 months ago

      starts rhythmic clapping

      HO-DEE-HOTEN-DOTEN-DAY, HO-DEE-HOTEN-DAY-O! HO-DEE-HOTEN-DOTEN-DAY…

      FATTENING UP OUR TAAAAPE WOOOOORMS!

    • PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocksB
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      11 months ago

      Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

      fattening up his tapeworm?

      Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

      I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.

  • Sam_Bass@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    That much cheese will stop him just wait

    • Iheartcheese@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      It would stop you mortal.

      • Sam_Bass@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Yes it surely would. Hence i do not ingest such a monstrous mound

  • EffortlessEffluvium@lemm.ee
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    11 months ago

    Oh, that cheese is stopping him. Stopping him right up.

  • Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works
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    11 months ago

    Can’t stop. Won’t stop.

  • bulwark@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    If it’s so wrong, why does it feel so right?

  • Ignotum@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Go go gadget cardiac arrest!

  • bmsok@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    This is how The Battle of Wisconsin starts.

  • Iheartcheese@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Understandable.

  • Sparky@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    11 months ago

    The cheese gobbler

  • blahsay@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    He’s the hero we need.

  • BezzelBob@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Can you blame him? That’s shits good asf

    • BezzelBob@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      I just did the math, 200gal is 2664.5 fl oz (in freedom units) this means over 365 days hes eating 7.3 fl oz a day. 1 fl oz has about 50kcals so (ironicly) he’s eating 365kcals of cheese

      This has to be a sign from god

      • Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works
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        11 months ago

        Just cheese sauce, or including the noodles?

        Where are you getting the calorie reference from?

        • BezzelBob@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          Honestly I just asked chatGPT lmao, specifically cheese sauce no noodle

  • bazus1@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Time for the next rewrite of Seven Samurai

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