I didn’t think he would really do it.
Cus its funni
the vatican couch was plush
He killed him by being near him
Remind some of this
The pope didn’t thank him
Obviously Vance wanted to fuck the Papal seat. The pope tried to explain that he couldn’t just let Vance fuck the chair of St Peter. Vance did not like this answer.
He slew two white whales in the same building!
Rearrange the letters in J.D. Vance and you get VADJECAN
He probably didn’t even do it on purpose. But I’m sure he did it.
Obviously he was hoping to take his powers.
JD didn’t do it on purpose. The most reasonable answer is the Pope accidentally walked on JD in a tender moment with a loveseat. The Pontiff laughed himself to death.
JD Vance had FOXDIE
One thing I’ve learned is never try to beat a couch fucker at his own game
I don’t think it was on purpose the Pope was just too frail to be in the same room as that much cringe. Frankly it was irresponsible of them to allow Vance anywhere near him.
I usually don’t subscribe to victim blaming, but this one is ok.
I love how this is thread is basically lemmyshitpost lmao
JD Vance just existed
The pope died of cringe from experiencing Vance’s presence.
JD Vance was the thing that made the Pope finally give up on humanity.
The Pope had this really hot couch and JD fell in love with it at first sight. JD asked the couches father (the Pope) for the couches hand in marriage. The Pope, thinking this was a strange joke, laughed at JD’s request. This filled JD with rage so he slit the popes thoat and began fucking the hot sofa.
As he bled out the pope was forced to watch the repeated violent defloration of his favorite piece of furniture.
*loveseat
The couch is just him being gay and thiel forcing him to put it in his book as a humiliation ritual
