https://lemmy.world/post/616615 there are great tips in that thread, I think you can find a way.
The OG Lemmy meme.
3 days is one thing, 8 days is impossible, (unless you don’t eat anything.)
I have a newborn that hasn’t had a shit for 5 days. According to our doctor, anything under 10 days is “normal”.
So to answer the question…breastmilk?
Delicious, nutritious, shitless
My dad once said, “if breast milk is the perfect food, babies shouldn’t have to poop”.
I did a 7 days water fast and as far as I remember I only pooped on the second day or something.
And on the seventh day, God dropped a holy deuce and rested.
Honestly, over 8 days, I feel like even if you only drank some kind of liquid nutrients, your body would still filter out enough solids that you’d have something moving through your colon
Well sure, if what you’re drinking is “liquid nutrients” then it’s not much of a fast though.
What nostalgia this brings lmao. The not pooping for 3 days meme is just as iconic as the influx of beans posts.
Yeah, my hope was that more people would get the reference when I posted this.
We’re here, bud.
You done good work
Fun fact of the day: extreme constipation can result in build up that can reach all the way to your stomach. If the situation does not clear up soon after, patients might throw up poop. This is extremely dangerous and often results in suffocation by shit.
Best fun fact of the day that I have ever read.
You’re trolling, right? RIGHT!?
PLEASE TELL ME YOU’RE TROLLING!! PLEASE!!!
He’s not and btw the proper name for this used in German is “Misere” which is originally Latin meaning “have mercy” but the word is also used to just described something as a really bad situation.
Just shit, because you are human and shitting is a thing that humans do.
this guy shits
The real accurate captcha. No bots will ever simulate this.
What about that robot scientists made that is literally just a digestive tract that shits?
this guy humans
So you are saying if I date androids they shit only if they have a fetish?
Hey bb, do you shit with that ass?
shit is a thing that some humans are, too.
Just use the lobby bathrooms at the hotel. If he loves you he’ll understand and be thankful.
Source: have done this myself
Y’all ladies need to read Everybody Poops if you think you need to sneak off to lobby bathrooms.
No. If I have to hide my poop he doesn’t really love me
That’s the way.
This is the strat
This is the best option. Go “ask for an extra towel”. "
Opiates. Often and overly.
DO NOT MISS A DOSE!
Sugar free Haribo gummy bears, never mind that’s the opposite.
Well once you’ve finished you’ll be so cleared out that you’ll have a waste deficit.
Idk if you can get them anymore after all the ruckus.
Olestra Pringles. Damn you Pringles, the “once you pop you can’t stop” happens twice!
What a bizarre way to live, pretending you don’t shit
Pretty sure it’s a joke
Might be, but it’s also very much doable.
When I went to confirmation camp, it was on an island with no water toilets, only outhouses. Some of my peers just wouldn’t use them for shitting, as they had never had to be without a “regular” toilet.
When there was a visiting day like a week after the start of the camp, I think someone had felt too nauseous and given in. I know this because I was assigned to empty the outhouse barrels. Which some mischievous visitors (older siblings who had gone through the camp themselves a year or couple before) had filled up to the brim with a hose, so all the shit was in liquid.
When we emptied them I saw a shit log the size of my forearm. All veiny and shit. Wouldn’t be out of place in the South Park episode about massive poos.
So idk man, I think it’s a joke but also, people do do that. (“Doo-doo”, hehehe.)
When I’m traveling, my digestive system just shuts down. I went on a trip recently and I didn’t shit for a week. That first shit looked as you described and nearly tore my asshole open. At least the toilet had a bidet.
I think there’s definitely something to that. I don’t really have a problem shitting anywhere, but it’s still crazy sometimes how much my need to excrete accelerates the closer to home I get. Like coming home from a store and you’re not really even feeling the need, but then in the hallway, suddenly, you do, intensely.
I think chubbyemu covered a case where this was done and almost killed the person.
It does kill people. I had a friend die from not shitting for like 16 days and when they went to do the surgery to remove the compacted shit he died. Pretty ignoble way to go.
I’m sorry for your loss. Are there any memories you’d like to share other than the reason for their passing? I know if I lost someone I loved like that I’d want to share the important things about them, while I also understand wanting to share the potential dangers that people might not be considering from interrupting bodily functions.
Well, he was a former boss. He was very cool as far as bosses went. Tried to hit on one of my co-workers all the time and then I ended up marrying her and he was happy for us and came to the wedding. He also wrote my letter of recommendation to go into management for that company. He left that job several years later and went back to truck driving. I think the bad diet and wonky schedule led to the medical condition.
Thank you for sharing. It sounds like he was overall a decent man, who had a fair share of impact on your life. I’m sorry again for that loss.
You sweet summer child
I couldn’t make it past three days. The pain was excruciating. Do not recommend. And what I left in the toilet that final day…it wasn’t natural.
Did it break the seal of the water?
No, but it was the size of a baby seal.
With facials scars and everything
Super glue your anus shut.
Disclaimer, do not do this, it’s a horribly painful way to die.
Ha! I super glued mine OPEN as a joke!
“Haha guys, look at how open and easy to get into my anus is? what a joke right! look at it! dripping with lube as I shake it around provocatively! What a lark!”
The solution is to not give a shit.
Ah finally a topic that aligns with lemmys expertise.
Just “hold it in” on the second floor of the hotel. The conference floor.
Girl just poop
Butt plug maybe?
She’s not practicing her chess. She should eat a wheel of brie everyday
Stick a pawn up your butt in a foreign country and become a queen? I’m not sure how chess comes into this?
As an experienced butt plug enjoyer, the plug will shoot out if you have enough stuff trying to exit your body. And if you have even SOME poo that really needs to come out, it will be SUPREMELY uncomfortable.
Also takes up some of that real estate.
But it’s free
And then do a Mexican Lawnmower
Jesus fucking Christ. Hesitated on my coffee after seeing this lol.
