I love all the long waiting and useless messages that comes with it, too.
- Preparing to download.
- Downloading. useless progress percentage
- Preparing to install.
- Installing. more useless progress percentage
- Please do not turn off your computer.
- “Hi”.
Don’t forget when the update stage actually reads 100%, which makes no logical sense because if the stage was at 100%, you wouldn’t still be telling me we are processing it as the current stage.
Somehow Windows struggles with file i/o and always has been. When copying stuff to floppy disks in Win 3 or 95 the progress bar steadily grew to 100% and since floppies were loud, you could hear that the actual copying only started then and you had to wait longer staring at 100% than the progress bar before.
You just gave me a nostalgia bomb of copying files on Win98/XP and watching the little files fly from one folder to the other for 5 minutes after the progress bar filled up.
I miss little animations like that, makes me wish there were more fun little things in OS UIs these days. Now everything is just a bar and a number.
watching the little files fly wasn’t it pieces of paper?
It’s been a minute, man. I haven’t used WinXP since 2009
Yup that one really pisses me off.
meanwhile updates on linux telling me exactly what is happening in real time, working completely in the background, and politely informing me that i may wish to reboot to apply all the updates properly
Windows: Imma let you finish but first we gotta update my man. Will only take an hour. Maybe three.
Linux: Save the drama for your mamma.
Linux updates are much superior, but Windows updates have not taken more than 5 minutes for me for a long time.
I just hate all the reboots. Linux can update everything, even kernels now, and no downtime. Reminds me of crap home internet routers: “oh you changed the date&time? Then I gotta reboot”
The routine Windows updates do go pretty quickly, but the “cumulative updates” can still take a very long time in my experience. I have to patch multiple servers and workstations at my job and it sucks. And if you have a hyper-v guest that lies dormant most of the time, but you need to update it once or twice a month, may the gods help you. Takes forever to even CHECK for updates, because Windows freaks the hell out if your PC remains turned off for a period of time.
Then,
-Please try Edge
I remember Nintendo Wii.
Nintendo: “Hey, a new system update is here.”
Me: “So what’s new?”
Nintendo: (shrug)
Homebrew people: “This patch changed nothing, except they tried to plug a hole. Damn, took us almost 10 minutes to counteract that this time!”
(OK, there was one system update where they added the ability to run stuff off of the SD card, but beside that, there were a whole bunch of updates where they tried to stay ahead of homebrew/pirates and failed spectacularly.)
The old paradox of Microsoft security updates. The more frequent they are, the more they look like they’re staying on top of things. While at the same time showing the world there are a lot of frikkin’ security holes in Windows all the time.
Update kbmorbillionnumbersandletters:
Fixes issue in update kbevenmorenumbersandletters
Part of my job used to involve explaining patch supersedence to leadership so that they had a clear idea of why a totally different patch needs to be loaded to address a vulnerability reporting a different patch number in the scanner.
Tenable (or how our security folks have our scans configured) doesn’t seem to get that.
I used to have to explain it to them too, but could usually get them to understand by referencing the CVE and the breakdown from the MS security updates guide.
My favourite is:
Them: We want less red in the pie chart. Fix that remote vulnerability.
Me: We don’t even have that component enabled. It’s reporting on a DLL file version, not the vulnerability itself.
Them: Just lower our vulnerability score.
(Me wondering if I deploying dozens of fully-patched systems would have the same proportional effect)
If they told people it was just to add more “telemetry” and ads, they wouldn’t install it.
That was my first instinct haha. Came to comment “new telemetry”
do they give you the option to not install? i remember windows just updating without ever asking anything
There are ways around it, but yeah, I think they pretty much get forced on most users afaik.
There are songs tools which will disable update altogether, Windows Update Blocker… But you know, use at your own risk or whatever.
Ads.
They just don’t want to tell you about them.
They want you to find out organically and immediately explode into inconsolable incandescent rage as you tear your system inside out to remove them.
New ads.
And sometimes it corrupts your drives. Just for fun.
Don’t forget new keywords to trigger bing search in the start menu vs opening the local program.
there are detailed changelogs for almost every single KB on Microsoft’s website
Yup
Here are the changelogs of the latest 23H2 update, and all the smaller incremental updates:
Microsoft software is well documented
deleted by creator
Except that it’s not an open source product.
deleted by creator
I always read details of updates before I do them. Sort of sad to see most people don’t.
Do you also read license agreement?
No, because that doesn’t tell me what they’re changing about the OS.
Idk, we tweak the license agreement when introducing some experimental features
It still doesn’t tell us what was changed in the system, just what are the terms to use it. If you’re using your license agreement instead of release notes or changelog to communicate what’s new, you’re doing it wrong.
They built a web browser into my start menu.
Why…
Microsoft: Will somebody please use Edge. Anyone. Please? No, using it to download Firefox doesn’t count!
choco install firefoxI don’t think we ever have to touch Edge!
Or winget install
I am here to complain about how bad winget is. Have not tried the alternatives on windows. I assume they arr much better, mostly because it’s almost impossible to make them worse.
How did you install chocolatey or downloaded the script to install it?
winget install chocolateyif I rememberIf you are fine with touching winget to download something, you probably should be fine by touching edge to download something.
This comment and subsequent responses are making me wonder now, if you somehow dug out a 15 year old flash drive with like a Firefox 3 installer on it or something, could you get that up and running and eventually updated to the current version?
It’s not like they’re the first ones to do it either. Ubuntu did it before them and it was a massive disaster. Miscrosoft couldn’t not have noticed it. They’ve seen what happened, and they went “Yes, that’s exactly what we want” anyway.
I know it’s fun to bash on Microsoft, but:
Microsoft also really likes to install the update on your machine, wait a while, then finally activate whatever feature it is they changed.
Like I think I read somewhere that every machine running 22H2 around the time 23H2 came out was actually running 23, but with most of the new features turned off. Also even before 23H3 came out they were sprinkling those features into 22 so by the time I updated nothing changed.
Yeah, for that reason, the feature upgrades only take a normal restart compared to the 30+ minute upgrade of the past.
deleted by creator
Updated the
tracking analyticscustomizations and user info prompt we spam you with every time you restartWhat changed? Likely your VPN doesn’t work now. Lol
Which VPN were you using that stopped working after a windows update?
Or did you just read a headline and not bother to look into it any further?
For reference, they literally just broke VPNs for many people and corporations are now having to roll back updates for their staff
https://www.bleepingcomputer.com/news/microsoft/microsoft-says-april-windows-updates-break-vpn-connections/deleted by creator
You didn’t answer me, so I’ll give you another chance. You must’ve missed my question last time. Which VPN were you using which stopped working after a windows update?
I hope you weren’t just lying to my face.
Can you provide a source that it affected “many people and corporations”? If there are so many, it should be easy to name one.
Mate, you dumb? The link cites Microsoft KB. This issue is officially reported BY Microsoft, not by some random people online.
Isn’t it weird that you, also, can’t name a single person who was affected by this?
Yeah, but you didn’t bother to actually follow the link or read what it says. There was a bug in Microsoft’s VPN implementation (which no one uses) which affected no one, until they fixed it.
What do you mean no one uses it? You seriously that dumb?
I am seriously that dumb. Can you give me an example of someone who used it and was affected by this?
No, you’re just making shit up and saying it as if it were fact.
Tinc gets broken by Windows updates every once in a while. The problem is that the update sometimes renames the network connections and Tinc needs the connection to have a specific name to work.
That’s the one I personally ran into several times now.
Yeah, none of those are affecting me right now. I don’t think they’re affecting you, either.
Holy fuck ignore my other comment. “Yeah your reality sounds different from mine, you’re wrong.” You’re just a stunted mind, no longer interesting.
Given that I literally said I personally encountered this problem: Yes, it does. It’s mostly just an annoyance that goes straight onto the “Windows Update jank” pile but I have wasted quite a bit of time helping people deal with connectivity issues that could down to “tinc_vpn” getting automatically renamed to “Network Connection 7”.
Just resetting your preferences to Microsofts preferences. They have to do that frequently; otherwise you might start to think it’s your machine.
Probably updating the Pilot AI to be more sly sbout spying on you
Dunno, but graphics drivers stopped working again! Go reinstall them!
A long time ago you used to get a list of changes.
